


Impossible Years

by orphan_account



Series: who can't stop staring at the mirror [4]
Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Coming Out, F/M, Getting Together, Marriage, Non-Explicit Sex, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:56:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7141517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick comes out as trans, and Pete does too. The next events were purely accidental, or so they believed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impossible Years

**Author's Note:**

> Trans!Patrick and Trans!Pete give me life so I decided to mix them both.

Patrick was scared. The band had been formed years ago, and they had two albums out already. They were already known, not worldwide, but they could be considered famous. And he wasn't who he pretended to be.

Because April Stump never really existed. She never was there. It had always been him, Patrick Stump. The difference was that nobody knew of him. It was April, Fall Out Boy's lead singer, only female bandmember. It wasn't Patrick, it was just April.

He took a long breath as he entered the room. He had called on a group meeting after cutting his hair short and putting a hat on. He felt so much safer and sure of himself with this boyish hair, but what his bandmates would say clung to his skin painfully.

"April!" Pete called, smiling from ear to ear. He scanned his face with more carefulness and he blinked a few times. "You cut your hair?"

Patrick felt as if his tongue was suddenly made of clumps of clay. He tried to find the words, and it took him a tortuous minute. "Yeah, I did," he sputtered.

"You look like a boy now," Andy commented.

Patrick couldn't miss this opportunity. He cleared his throat and smiled sheepishly. "Maybe that's because I am a boy," he announced, his smile becoming more genuine.

Silence followed his words, everyone seeming to swallow and understand what he had just said. Fear took over the young boy again, and he silently wondered if he had fucked up big time.

"You're trans?" Pete asked, tilting his head to the side. He seemed curious rather than unaccepting or anything of the sort.

Patrick nodded. "Yeah, I'm trans," he stammered nervously, scratching the back of his neck.

"I guess you don't prefer April then?" Andy asked. He sounded curious, too.

"I prefer Patrick, in fact," he said, licking his lips nervously.

"Thank you for telling us, honestly. Do you wanna tell the masses, or...?" Pete asked, and Patrick silently thanked him for asking that. He wasn't sure he could be like 'I also want to ruin our public image by telling everyone I'm not a girl'.

"Yeah, I'd like to. Dysphoria is too hard to deal with," he admitted.

"Let's tell them, then. Next interview, shall we?" Pete smiled wide, and Patrick found him adorable.

* * *

Patrick was checking the newest magazine, as he knew the news would be there. He knew the video was also somewhere on YouTube, but he decided to went by the old school way for now.

In the fifth page, there it was. A picture of him, with his badly done haircut and a binder hiding his breasts.

_"APRIL STUMP IS TRANSGENDER AND PREFERS PATRICK NOW."_

_In our latest interview with the singer of the Grammy-nominated emo band Fall Out Boy, we were informed of rather shocking news. April told us she —or rather, he— isn't a girl, but a boy. He told us all about his gender, and expressed that Pete is trying to change the credits on both of their past albums, Take This To Your Grave and From Under The Cork Tree._

_Here's a transcript of the interview._

_A: I see you cut your hair, April! Any reason for that?_

_P: [laughs] I'd prefer Patrick, if that's possible. But I'm transgender, and I thought it was time to let the world know._

_A: It's sure nice to know there are more people representing the T in LGBT now, is it? How did you discover this?_

_P: I had always been uncomfortable with my body since I've had memory. Whenever someone said 'boys and girls', I always found myself reacting more to the first. April always felt off for me. Patricia is my mom's name, you know, and I respect and love her, so I decided Patrick would fit me._

_A: Why did you think it was a good time to come out now?_

_P: I wasn't very sure people would take it well— I still am not, but I had to be brave. Everyone in the media referring to me by my birthname was tiring. People will still do it, but there'll be accepting people, you know?_

_A: Yes, I see where you're coming from. Are you trying to change the credits of past albums?_

_P: [sighs] Pete's working on that right now, actually. He's trying to make FBR change the 'April Stump' on TTTYG's cover for Patrick Stump, and the same for the credits in From Under The Cork Tree._

_A: I see. Are you happy that people know?_

_P: I'm scared, though I know Andy, Joe and Pete will always defend me from transphobic people, who will definitely be there. But it's nice to let it out. They didn't know until a few weeks ago, actually._

_A: Who was the quickest to accept it?_

_P: Pete, no doubt about it. He was very understanding and patient with me. He bought me a binder and all, and helped me get a better haircut._

_A: How did Andy and Joe react?_

_P: Andy was very confused, but didn't judge me or anything. Joe was soon to accept me too. He helped me go buy some boys clothes, also._

_A: We're glad to know all of this, Patrick. We wish you the best of luck._

_P: Thank you._

Patrick sighed with contentment as he ended reading it. He was happy with how the interview had turned out, and he was glad the interviewer was accepting and simply amazing.

"I'm so proud of you, Rick," Pete said after he read it, and planted a kiss on his forehead with affection. Patrick was used to it, and he kissed the other boy's cheek sheepishly.

"Thank you, Pete."

He swore he saw Pete flinch at the mention of his name, but he decided not to bring it up.

* * *

It had been about two months since Patrick came out. He had started being on Hormone Replacement Therapy now, and he was starting to look more masculine. Plus his period had stopped, which was a very good thing.

That was when Pete told him he wanted to have a band meeting. They went to the studio and Pete cleared his throat. He looked nervous, and he was avoiding eye contact.

"What's it, Pete? Is something wrong?"

"My name," he admitted, and everyone looked at him blankly. "I'm trans too, alright? Pete isn't my name. It's Allie. I'm a girl." She admitted this all in matter of a minute, and everyone seemed to be trying to process these news.

Patrick was the first to react. He rushed to her arms and hugged her tightly, which was followed by a rather awkward hug back. "Thank you for letting us know, man. Wait. Are you comfortable with that?" He pulled away from her, blinking a few times. She looked beautiful, and she was the prettiest girl Patrick had ever seen.

"Yeah, I am," she laughed quietly. "Man and dude are pretty gender neutral, in my opinion."

"I think we all can agree in that," Joe piped in as he gave her a tight hug. "You're great, Allie. Would you want to make it public, or...?"

"No, no. I can deal with people not knowing. But please call me Allie on private, alright?"

"Alright. Allie Wentz. It sounds nice," Patrick grinned, and his lips met the girl's doubtfully. She responded enthusiastically, and their lips soon were brushing and dancing. "I love you, Allie."

"I love you too, Trick."

Their lips met again, and Joe and Andy looked at eachother, smiling from ear to ear. They knew this was going to happen eventually.

* * *

2007 was a really moved year for all of them. People weren't as supportive as they thought. Most people would call Patrick April during meet and greets. Allie always defended him, though.

It was one of those times little after they released their new album Infinity On High.

Patrick was meeting a fan who looked twenty-something and her eyes were a really pretty green. She passed a hand near his chest and he shifted uncomfortably.

"What do you think you're doing?" Allie hissed, and the fan backed out. She put herself at Allie's side and they took a few photos before she left quickly, muttering about how interesting 'April' was. Patrick was about to cry and Allie kissed him to make him feel better.

* * *

It had been four years, and the memory of April Stump was long forgotten. Little people decided to bring it up, and it wasn't like people wouldn't call them out in their bullshit if they did.

Patrick had had chest surgery since then, and he wasn't taking testosterone boosters consistently anymore. He wasn't really into the idea of having a penis that couldn't even have an erection, so he didn't have bottom surgery.

The band was on hiatus now, though. Mainly because of a fight between all of the bandmembers, and the fact that Allie's mental health was as fragile as it was back then when she attempted suicide.

Patrick strummed his guitar absently. He knew the chords and the lyrics; it was his own song, after all. But he found himself lost in thought, lost in the moment he wrote it. It was dedicated to her.

He took a deep breath before the words came out of his lips.

"Wherever you find it, it's none of my business. Now wherever you go, go, go, go, it's not my concern. But for a second your attention just belonged to me, and it passed so fast it just fractured all my cool," he sang, the words ringing on his ears.

Memories flooded into his mind. Allie crying, pulling up her sleeves; organized, flat scars all over her arms. Allie sleeping in the same bed as him, Allie telling him he loved him. He had to stop right there, the words stuck in his throat.

He let out a strangled cry, suddenly feeling the world's weight on his shoulders. He turned the recorder off, knowing he couldn't continue singing the song he had titled 'Allie', originally enough. The memories were too painful.

Maybe other day, he told himself. Maybe other day.

* * *

When he posted it to his channel, he didn't wait long until Allie called his phone. "Patrick?" was the first thing she said. The first word she spoke to him in years, and the boy let out a sob.

"Allie, I'm sorry."

"What're you sorry for?" she almost yelled, her voice also tainted with tears.

"I - I don't know. I thought you'd be mad at me."

"Of course not. And, dude, I'll teach you naughty things." Patrick knew she was winking and grinning like an idiot, and the mental image made him smile.

"That was uncalled for. But please do."

Allie laughed. "I can do that if you want me to. Right now, if you really want me to."

"Don't come at me with phone sex, please." He laughed between goofy smiles and he found himself missing Allie's company. "Can I go to your place tomorrow?"

"Sure. Can't wait, honestly. I love you."

"Love you too."

The next day, Allie was more masculine as ever. There wasn't any trace of makeup on her face and her hair was cut short. She sat next to her boyfriend, kissing him sloppily.

Patrick was happy to finally see Allie again. They talked about how Andy and Joe were doing, and they accorded they should get together after Patrick ended with his solo tour.

"Your new stuff is fucking awesome, dude. Cute Girls is my jam."

"Girl, I'm just impressed by your face, not your dress," Patrick sang before tackling her and kissing her deeply. He loved her so much, he didn't quite know how to explain it.

The feeling had always been there, back then when Allie knew him as April and he knew her as Pete. It had always been there, since he was sixteen and Allie was twenty-one.

Discovering those feelings were reciprocated was probably the best moment in his life.

He isn't sure when they took their clothes off, or when her hands were exploring his body hungrily. He isn't sure when their bodies were connected in such a meaningful way it made his head spin. He isn't sure when she kept thrusting into him and he could see stars. He isn't sure when his legs shook and he climaxed and it felt like heaven and hell.

"I love you," Allie said as she fell on him, her face buried in his chest.

"I love you too," he muttered as he kissed her forehead sleepily. He felt tired after such a great time, and he stretched before letting himself fall asleep.

Allie, who could usually only sleep a few hours, fell into the best sleep of her life. They woke up when the early morning sunlight filtered through the curtains.

"Morning, dear," Allie said softly.

"'Dear?' God, you sound like my grandma."

"Five years, remember?"

Patrick turned around and groaned. "Oh, shut up."

Allie laughed. "You know you love me."

"Maybe I do," Patrick said, looking at her again. Their lips met drowsily, and it was so full of love it made Allie smile against the boy's lips.

"Dude. What if we get married someday?"

"But you'd have to go as the husband then."

"I could come out, you never know."

Patrick sighed. "That'd be great, actually. I'm really tired of calling you Pete when we're on public. You transitioning should be great."

"I don't think of transitioning, really. Just name change and maybe some estrogen. But nothing much besides that. Like, I don't plan on getting surgery or being completely female-presenting."

"I see where you're coming from," Patrick said, yawning. "Wouldn't it be dysphoria-inducing, though?"

"No, I don't think so." Allie kissed him again and Patrick smiled against her lips. He loved her so, so much.

* * *

Allie had came out to the masses and it was pretty great. Everyone seemed to accept trans girls faster than trans boys, and they also received lots of more attention.

Patrick didn't mind, though; less attention meant less transphobes.

Allie was doing fine, and she was on estrogen now. She had performed her name change and she was now legally both a girl and her name was Allie Leia Wentz. Joe was the most vocal about his disgust for transphobes, meanwhile Andy expressed his hate by pure menacing glares.

Patrick and Allie were openly dating for a few years now since they went off hiatus. They were worldwide famous now, and they were very happy with the recgonition and the attention.

It had been about half a year since Patrick had bent down on one knee and asked Allie if she wanted to marry him, and now they were in the aisle.

There wasn't too much people at the wedding, only their relatives, Andy, Joe, the Way siblings, Frank Iero, Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross. It was said Brendon considered leaving as soon as he saw Ryan, but he didn't. After a couple drinks he kissed his ex-bandmate, in fact.

"Allie Leia Wentz, do you want to marry Patrick Vaughn Stump?"

"I do," she spoke quietly, her cheeks slightly pink and her eyes gleaming with happiness and love.

"Patrick Vaughn Stump, do you want to marry Allie Leia Wentz?"

"I do," he said clearly.

"You may kiss the bride."

Everyone clapped as they kissed and Andy and Joe let out a few tears.

Since then, Allie Stump and her husband, Patrick, lived happily ever after.


End file.
